Wednesday, January 4, 2012

My Top 5 WORST Movies of 2011

Y'know, film criticism is not my career. I am an actor (in musical theater, I might add...Stop laughing!). This blog is a hobby, because I enjoy watching and talking about movies. Therefore, since I am not an actual critic, I don't get to see every movie that comes out, and one major perk of that is that if I look at a movie's advertisements and think it looks bad (such as this year's The Smurfs, Jack and Jill, or Spy Kids 4D: All the Time in the World), I can choose not to see it.

Last year I had only seed two movies that were truly awful by the time I wrote my Best of the Year blog, so I lumped Worst of the Year in with it as an afterthought.

This year I saw 6. Enough to constitute its own list. *facepalm*

You might question why I saw some of the movies featured here, and I'll explain as I go. All you really need to know is that they're all achingly bad. Are any of them as colossal a failure on every level as last year's worst, The Last Airbender? No, thankfully not, but that still doesn't mean you shouldn't avoid them like the plague.

So...*sigh*...here we go...

My Top 5 WORST Movies of 2011

Dishonorable Mention

6)  The Tree of Life


Yeah, I'm probably gonna piss a few people off by including this one; one thing I can definitely say is that (while the critics have heaped nothing but praise on it) there hasn't been a film this year that has created a wider amount of divisive reaction than this one, and unfortunately I'm on the negative end of the spectrum. To explain everything I don't like about this movie would be long enough for an entirely different blog (which will probably happen), so to save time, I'll explain why it's not in this Top 5. The visual effects and cinematography are absolutely gorgeous. Heck, the 20-minute sequence on the formation of the planets, development of cells, and dinosaurs is probably one of my favorite sequences of the year! And, for what it's worth, Brad Pitts performance is really good. But the bad does far outweigh the good, and soon I will take more time to elaborate why. 

The Top 5

5)  The Green Hornet

I was REALLY looking forward to this one. The Green Hornet is one very interesting superhero that has almost been forgotten by the current times, and I'm a big fan of the previous works I've seen of director Michel Gondry (Be Kind Rewind and the ingenious Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind). The big mistake: they made it a comedy. Not just a comedy; a Seth Rogen comedy. I commented in my last blog about Rogen's typical shtick, so let me explain. The typical Seth Rogen character type works in two scenarios; A) when he's a supporting player, such as the lead's slacker best friend (see The 40-Year-Old Virgin and 50/50); and B) when he's the slacker lead who matures and changes by the end of the movie (see Knocked Up). Here we have a main character who goes through no such process; he starts off an obnoxious ass and stays that way, making this Rogen's most dislikable character I've seen. And, Mr. Rogen, I'm going to say what I've been saying since Pineapple Express: Just because you're rambling improvised dialogue doesn't mean what you're saying is funny. In fact, if it isn't funny, it gets annoying. Plus, I'm not even mentioning the missed opportunities withing the story! I'll give kudos for Christophe Waltz's interesting villain and the climactic action scene, but those don't mean much when I don't care if the hero succeeds. 

4)  Beastly


I was tricked into this one. One of my best friends was working at the nearest movie theater at the time and had seen it through an advance screening. He invited me to the next one they had, claiming that it was so bad that it was actually a hilarious unintentional comedy. So, on the promise of a laugh, I went. Needless to say, as the movie got into full swing, I was NOT agreeing with him. This is pure boring, angsty, emo teen garbage at its worst. This is the Twilight series with only slightly higher intelligence behind the story. The best that this movie gives us is Neil Patrick Harris, doing his best with the poor material as the blind tutor, and, in the year's biggest surprise, Mary Kate Olsen as the teen witch who curses our hero, in what is *gasp* a really good performance! Neither gets enough screen time, though, and we are treated to further proof that Vanessa Hudgens can't act and Alex Pettyfer's greatest trait is his ability to brood. For those of you looking for a movie so bad it's good, might I suggest The Room or Birdemic? You'll get the laughs I was denied in this one.

3)  Sucker Punch


Zack Snyder, I am one of your defenders. I think you have a unique visual and directorial style. I thought 300 was an excellent action movie, and Watchmen is one of the best superhero movies ever made. While I wasn't crazy about Legends of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole, there were things about it that I did like. I think you're a good director...just please quit directing the stuff you write! Sucker Punch is one confusing mess of a story. You have a plot set in 3 worlds, 1 real and 2 fantasy (reality is more interesting so it isn't given enough time, and one of the fantasies is nothing more than an excuse to have these teenage girls dressed provocatively); characters given no development whatsoever; and action scenes (the second fantasy world) which, while well-done, make no sense to things overall and stop the movie dead. Add to that plenty of bad acting (Vanessa Hudgens gets work AGAIN!!!) and you have one miserable viewing experience. This movie made me wince at the news of Snyder directing the next Superman movie, Man of Steel, but hopefully Christopher Nolan's involvement as producer will save it from becoming like this.

2)  Something Borrowed

I have to go with the age-old guy excuse for movies like this: My girlfriend made me watch it (I love you, babe, but you deserve some blame for this one). Because the romantic comedy is not one of my favorite genres. Occasionally a really good one will come along (like this year's Crazy, Stupid, Love.), but most of the time they will fall between ok and not-that-good. But every now and then, every year or two, one will come along that has has enough stupidity to make your jaw drop. I had seen the TV spots for Something Borrowed and thought it would just be boring and predictable. I wasn't prepared to watch characters who are terrible people ignore the simple solutions for easy-to-solve problems because of their own massive faults. I mean it, every character in this movie is a moron. John Krasinski is the only good person of the leads, but (SPOILER) even he gets his moment of stupid by admitting his feelings for the lead, and trust me, his character can do WAY better. It also has the guts to do a sequel tease at the end. Believe me. That won't happen.

And the absolute worst movie I saw in 2011 is...

1)  Your Highness


Your Highness isn't funny. It just isn't. In fact, I can't remember the last time I was that stone-faced watching a comedy. I've never not laughed so hard in my life! Not only is it not funny, it's stupid; a bad combination for a comedy to be. I really can't articulate how bad this movie is. It makes a very fatal error seen more and more lately: Just because you curse and mention sex and bodily fluids does not make what you're saying funny. That barely even makes it a joke, because it's the context and and the brains behind it that determines whether or not it's funny. And there are no brains put into this. It's some of the laziest comedy I've ever heard. How you roped Natalie Portman and Toby Jones into this is something I'd love to know. The rest of the cast, you guys can do better. You guys can do WAY better. 

So those are this year's headaches. Agree or disagree? Leave a comment! Got a movie you think should be on the list? Let me know! I won't be watching it, but let me know!

My next blog: Y'know what? Screw it. Let's talk about The Tree of Life.

Monday, January 2, 2012

My Top 10 Favorite Movies of 2011

So here we are again; the old year passes as the new year begins. And that's almost how long it's been since I wrote an entry for this blog...oops.

Anyway, time for retrospective. While I have more than enough entries for this list, my movie-going year wasn't quite as epic as 2010. Again, I haven't seen EVERY movie that came out, but my pickings were far more numerous by this point last year. Keep in mind, I had seen plenty of the Oscar nominees for Best Picture in advance of the announcements, including Inception, both my favorite movie of that year and a new all-time favorite of mine. Another factor that comes into play was my goal to save money for my eventual move to New York, therefore less time for trips to the theater.

That isn't to say, however, that the movies I saw this year weren't great. There were great performances, engaging stories, and a variety of emotional investment on my part (more of these came close or succeeded in bringing a tear to my eye than I expected). So, without further ado...

My Top 10 Favorite Movies of 2011
While the actual Top 10 are truly great, this year there were plenty of others that I felt deserved a little more attention than a mention. So, in a deviation from last year's list, I'm showing my honorable mentions first, along with a brief summary about what I liked and why they aren't in the higher rankings:

Honorable Mentions

20)  Paul
       What I liked: Simon Pegg and Nick Frost's undeniable chemistry in a new scenario with hilarious comedy. Also, Paul himself is a fully-realized character and, despite being voiced by Seth Rogen, doesn't fall into the typical Rogen traps (*cough*Green Hornet*cough*).
        Why it's not in the 10:  It lacks the pacing that aided the humor in their past collaborations (Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz) so well.

19)  Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tide
       What I liked:
  The best in the series since the first one (which remains THE best). Thank you, Disney, for dropping the over-complicated plot twists and keeping it to what a pirate movie should be: a swashbuckling treasure hunt. Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush return in full force as well.
       Why it's not in the 10:  While I'm glad most of the side characters from the previous three films were dropped, the new ones really weren't that interesting, especially the villain. When Ian McShane isn't interesting, that's a problem.

18)  Rise of the Planet of the Apes
       What I liked:
  One heck of an exciting reboot of the franchise. Plus, Andy Serkis' motion-capture performance as Caesar is the heart and soul of the movie, making his best performance since Gollum in Lord of the Rings.
        Why it's not in the 10:  James Franco's wooden, auto-pilot performance. And while I DID enjoy it, the final sentence in Roger Ebert's review sums in up best; "This is the movie you may have been expecting. No more, no less."

17)  Crazy, Stupid, Love.
       What I liked:
  This one rides on the strength of its non-typical story and acting ensemble. Steve Carell, Julianne Moore, Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, Marisa Tomei, Kevin Bacon, and even the younger actors all give solid engaging performances.
       Why it's not in the 10:  Occasionally gets predictable and falls under the cliches of the rom-com genre. Yes, Carell does have to get in front of a crowd and give an impassioned impromptu speech towards the end. That should give you an idea of what I'm talking about.

16)  Puss in Boots
       What I liked:  
Antonio Banderas' Puss is just as fantastic a character as ever, showing that he is plenty capable of carrying a movie on his own. The comedy is great, and this also has to be some of the most beautiful mainstream CGI I've seen this year.
       Why it's not in the 10:  The story lacks some of the real substance Dreamworks has shown in recent films like the Kung Fu Panda series and How to Train Your Dragon.  Also, Zach Galifinakis's Humpty Dumpty is an uneven character, and at times can steal too much focus.

15)  Cars 2
       What I liked:
  While most critics bashed this one, I still had a good time! It has plenty of excitement and thrills, and offers some laughs in the process. The animation is just as good as the original.
       Why it's not in the 10:  Some of that critical scorn IS earned to a degree, though. While Mater (Larry the Cable Guy) made good comic relief in the last one, he's not good lead character material, and the hokey "be yourself" message doesn't hold a candle to the deeper, more emotional themes of the rest of Pixar's work. Plus, the violence inflicted on the characters is surprisingly graphic (you do want KIDS to see this, right?).
14)  X-Men: First Class
       What I liked:
  An excellent story with a cast of well-developed characters handled with such great care by its cast, especially the chemistry between James McAvoy as Charles Xavier and Michael Fassbender as Magneto.
        Why it's not in the 10:  The pacing does tend to drag at certain points.

13)  Horrible Bosses
       What I liked:
  The second-funniest movie of the year. An absolutely hysterical comedy with six strong leads in both our heroes (Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, and Charlie Day in a role that should cement his career in film) and their bosses (Kevin Spacey, and the unexpected turns from Jennifer Aniston and Colin Farrell)
        Why it's not in the 10:  Some running gags and character traits, such as Sudeikis' sexual exploits, lose their polish as the film progresses.

12)  Happy Feet Two
       What I liked:  
Has the same charm and fun of the original, with a new touch of enjoyable absurdity. Hank Azaria is a nice addition to the voice cast as Sven, and Brad Pitt and Matt Damon's Will and Bill the Krill steal the movie.
        Why it's not in the 10:  The story starts all over the place, only gaining more focus as it progresses.

11)  Captain America: The First Avenger
       What I liked:
  The best superhero movie of the year! Fantastic action, direction, and design; a strong lead in Chris Evans; an equally strong villain in Hugo Weaving; and a great supporting cast. Captures a perfect tone; exactly how an adaptation of a '40s comic should be.
       Why it's not in the 10:  I ran out of room. Seriously, that's why.

And now, the main course...

The Top 10

10)  Bridesmaids


Proof that it is possible to make an R-rated comedy with a lot of heart. Bridesmaids is the funniest movie of the year, and the basis of that comedy comes from the honesty and chemistry shared between each and every member of the cast. Character relationships provide the film's backbone, be it Annie's (Kristen Wiig) friendship-with-benefits with Ted (Jon Hamm), Becca (Ellie Kemper) and Rita's (Wendi McLendon-Covey) drunken airplane confessional, or Annie and Helen's (Rose Byrne) rivalry for Lillian's (Maya Rudolph) friendship. The more we believe these interactions, the more the comedy makes us laugh and the intimate moments warm our hearts. Standouts include Melissa McCarthy, one of the year's most celebrated performances, and Chris O'Dowd, one of the most underrated.

9)  Kung Fu Panda 2


You almost made me cry, Dreamworks! You almost made me cry! The first Kung Fu Panda was a major change for the studio; it did away with its established-but-tired reliance on pop culture references (which only REALLY worked in the Shrek films anyway) and followed the Pixar path of putting the story first. It was great, and they continued on this path with the even better How to Train Your Dragon. But to say that Kung Fu Panda 2 was better than I expected is an understatement. It improves on every aspect of the original; a story with higher stakes, a more interesting villian, and a further fleshing out of the characters to the point where you forget about the A-listers voicing them, especially our lovable hero Po (Jack Black) as he finds himself on a journey to discover his true origins. It's Dreamworks' best since Shrek 2, and that's a major accomplishment.

8)  Win Win


Haven't heard of this one? Don't worry, I hadn't either. In fact, most people probably haven't due to its limited theatrical release. However, if there's any way I can help this one find new life on DVD, I'm more than happy to. Win Win tells the story of Mike Flaherty (Paul Giamatti), a struggling lawyer and high school wrestling coach who, for selfish reasons, becomes the legal guardian of an elderly client (Burt Young). Things get complicated when the man's grandson, a teenage runaway named Kyle (Alex Shaffer), comes to live with his grandfather. Mike takes Kyle in, allows him to join the wrestling team, and the two begin to bond. Things are threatened, however, when Kyle's greedy mother (Melanie Lynskey) comes looking for him. This is a wonderfully written original dramedy, with strong performances from the entire ensemble, including Amy Ryan as Mike's wife, Jeffrey Tambor as his assistant coach, and an absolutely hilarious Bobby Cannavale as his best friend. If you come across this one, watch it; it's well worth your time.

7)  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2


Oh, how I love a good finale! I don't think I'll be met with much objection when I say this is easily the best entry in the series. The entire cast, which is a build-up of all major characters from the past seven films, give this their all (especially Ralph Fiennes as Voldemort and Alan Rickman, who, if this were a perfect world, would win an Oscar for his performance as Snape within the entire series), and the action reaches an intensity not seen in the others. The only fault to be found is that it can only be enjoyed at its best if you've seen the ALL of the other movies, but trust me, it's a fully worthwhile prerequisite.

6)  Contagion

You remember what Psycho did for showers? Or what Jaws did for going to the beach? Or what Nightmare on Elm Street did for going to sleep? Well, that's what Contagion does for TOUCHING ANYTHING!!! All joking aside, this is a very effective thiller, with top-notch performances from the entire cast (including Gwyneth Paltrow, who has the least screen time but wins for best death scene of the year...no, that's not a spoiler, it's in all the trailers). It a great portrayal of society on the brink of collapse in the face of something it doesn't understand, and gives us a wide array of characters, from those who help, to those who manipulate, to those being manipulated, and those just trying to get answers and survive. It kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time.

5)  Rango

I've never seen an American animated movie like this. So wildly imaginative, so inventive, so fully enveloped in  the world it's created, and yet so dark, so quirky, so quick-witted, so off the wall and against the norm. These reasons alone make this the best animated film of the year, and I'll be rooting for it come Oscar time. Something like this doesn't normally come from a mainstream wide release, which might explain why many shied away during its theatrical release. But there's plenty to love about this, even more than what I've already said. While I might have mentioned earlier that Puss in Boots' animation was the most beautiful, Rango's is the most unique. So much life is breathed into this world of reptiles and rodents, dirty and gritty yet feeling very real. And Johnny Depp's no-holds-barred voice work provides so much fun (an improvement over his forgettable character in his last animated outing, Corpse Bride)! Don't be fooled by the fact that this is from Nickelodeon Studios, though; this is not for the under-8 crowd. It wasn't at all what many were expecting, which made me love it even more.

4)  The Help


Yes, the hype is true: it's that good. I almost don't feel qualified to write about this one, since the story has spoken louder to women, but there was still plenty for me to appreciate and be moved by. The entire cast excels, led by a powerful Viola Davis as Aibileen. It perfectly captures the details of the setting; not just of the time period, but of the South and all of its sensibilities. When the story hits its lows, it breaks your heart, but only to repair it instantly when it hits its highs. Add this to the list of movies whose source material I now have to read.

3)  50/50


This one caught me completely by surprise. What seemed like a light-hearted take on how to deal with a serious illness actually contained so much more sadness, weight and heart than I expected. Screenwriter Will Reiser's loosely adapted retelling of his experiences dealing with cancer in his 20s is a terrific dramedy, grounded in depressing reality but also offering uplifting laughs. Joseph Gordon-Levitt gives what will probably be the most overlooked great performance of the year in the lead role, displaying such a strong emotional honesty. Even when his character is at his lowest, even meanest, point, we never stop caring about him because he gets us to understand why. And while I might have grilled Seth Rogen earlier for his typical schtick, here it works to such an advantage (especially since, as it turns out, his character is actually based on himself). His friendship with Levitt gives the movie many of its best moments, and what seems like his typical Rogen-isms are backed by such heartwarming motivation. Kudos also to the rest of the ensemble (Anna Kendrick, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Anjelica Huston). 50/50 shows how life can still be enjoyed even when it seems to be at its lowest.

2)  The Muppets

No, it's not deep. No, it's not thought-provoking. No, it's not the typical artistic gems you see around awards time. But you know what? This is the most fun I've had at the movies all year! The Muppets are back and in full force, sticking to the formula which made their original movies such classics: hilarious acknowledgement and breaking of the fourth wall mixed with fully realized and believable characters (because the Muppets are real, ok? THEY'RE REAL!). Their human counterparts this time around don't do too bad either, whether it's the leads or the surprising cameos. Plus a huge standing ovation Bret Mackenzie as music supervisor, who wrote 4 of the 5 outstanding original songs, put a Muppet spin on contemporary pop hits, and made sure to include some old Muppet favorites, including one that will bring a tear to the die-hard fans. I was raised on the Muppets, and as I sat through this movie, I was a kid again.

And my favorite movie of 2011 is...

1)  Super 8


This one made me cry. I'm not ashamed to say it. This film has been called a love letter to the early work of Steven Spielberg many times, and for good reason. Because what Spielberg does so well is take all of the wonder, excitement, and emotion of a story and its characters and find the perfect blend of it. That's something J.J. Abrams has always aspired to do and does with flying colors here. There are plenty of laughs and thrills to be had here and plenty elements to relate to (we all were kids like these, or at least knew those who were). It's exciting, but funny. Scary, but sweet. You want a 2011 movie that gives you everything that's great about the movies? This is it.


Now, for those who might be wondering...

The 2011 Movies I Still Need to See
  • The Adventures of Tintin
  • Arthur Christmas
  • The Artist
  • Cowboys and Aliens
  • The Descendants
  • Drive
  • Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
  • Hugo
  • The Ides of March
  • Midnight in Paris
  • Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
  • Moneyball
  • My Week with Marilyn
  • Our Idiot Brother 
  • Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
  • War Horse
  • Warrior
  • Young Adult
So that's this year's list! Again, there's still plenty I haven't seen, so I'll probably post any revisions closer to Oscar time. Until then, feel free to voice your agreements or disagreements in the comments!

My next blog: My Top 5 WORST Movies of 2011